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Showing posts from 2018

2018

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[SOFT HOUR: OPEN]

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This is gonna be another bright post. Hopefully. HMMMM just a post about these two girls that are on my mind right now. Eww cheesy. Its just that I rarely talk about them and confess to them. So I'm going to do it now 😈💪 Actually this idea came yesterday after we spent some quality time. Yeth, we spent a lot of time and my diploma days are better everyday because of them. After months of not meeting, we finally met yesterday. To Mersing we went. It was a very fun car rides with them. The ride to Mersing was full of us joking, singing and screaming. On our way back, it was just full with flashbacks, confessions and some heart to heart talk I guess. Years of friendship, I had never got the chance to thank them properly. I don't really know how to express outwardly but this is me. But guys, thank you. Theres so many things that both of you have done to me that I am thankful for. Helping me throughout my biggest fear like feeling rejec

What do I deserve?

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"I can't breath and my heart feel stuffy, the same action keeps replaying in my head" The title might be depressing but I am trying to write a less-depressed post. I am not in the state of depression, by the way. I got lost in my emotions sometimes. Maybe because I always decided to write when I am sad or overthink things. That's why the posts sounded soooooo depressed 😌 And I realized that my negative posts made my friends worried? Making people worried are not the best thing I would do pun. So today I decided to write while I am at my happy state. Besides being with Iskandar, there are so many things that could make me happy. I just avoided doing it. Instead of doing things that could make me happy, I always got myself doing thing that I just wanted to do before thinking about the side effects. First thing on the list is always to write in my bullet journal. This blog might contain a lot of my worse side but my brighter side is a

A Good Listener.

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A good listener might be a good person to reach to. Someone that listen to your EVERYTHING and actually tries to be in your shoes. And comes out with helpful advises. People love reaching out to good listener because good listener never judge. A good listener helps us let go all of the things that mess our mind. But thats its, a good listener -- listens. After the good listener listens, it ended up with a 'thank you', a 'i feel more at ease'. Nobody ends it with a new start. I mean who ends the ted talk with 'what about you?' or simply asking is there anything bothering you. Nobody cares if the good listener were having so many killing thoughts on their minds. Have you ever wonder how easy would it be, if the person who always reaches out a good listener, reaches out to be a good listener too. My sentences got really messed up right now but I hope its understandable. A friend of mine, a good friend of mine, called me today to hav

The 'sometimes'

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I feel anxious while writing this post. I clicked on backspace for like thousands times already. I wanted to say, but nothing comes out. All these while, I keep labeling myself as a non-over thinker. Because I am more easy-going when it comes to feeling. A guy might suddenly comes to me giving chocolates and others would think about it for the whole night. Thoughts like .. 'he likes me?' 'so he had a crush on me?' While me, a non-over thinker would say thanks and let it go. I don't really like having so much thoughts in my mind. But recently, I became so anxious with my whole life, with my future. I don't really show my feelings to anyone or what-more talk about it with anyone. I'd love to keep it to myself. These days I keep getting thoughts like what if I cant make it? What if I'm late. Because I grew up in a society that think you have fail because you are left behind. Sometimes, I really wanted to turn back time. Or. Someti

A girl I want to keep forever 💕

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So beautiful, that she deserve every flower in the world. She's someone that is always there. No matter, How many days of us not talking. How many weeks of us not checking on each other. How many years of us not seeing each other. I know she's always there. The starting of our friendship was very beautiful. As beautiful as our friendship over the years. Our personality matched well back then. So the chemistry was there. Then we grew up, we found our own different-personality. She became more confident and active while making so many friends. While I became more reserved and cautious in making friends. But the chemistry is still there. We still clique. That's what makes the friendship beautiful. There's some times, where I don't feel that we're still the same. Also there's time I feel like I'm forgetting her. I'll do whatever it takes so that I'd get myself back together. I remind myself that

First Driving Class - Experience.

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I am a bit late, but better late than never, aite? So after finishing my studies, I... dont have anything to do. I wanted to work but clearly its not as desperate as I should have been. I fill my free time with a lot of stuffs. I learn how to cook -- now I am a pro-chef 😜 I learn how to do bullet journal -- it was fun and all you need is creativity! I learn some researches & histories from the internet -- when I dont know what to do with the internet anymore. And recently I learnt about Queen Elizabeth. It was fun. I also do some babysit, with both my nephew & niece -- Iskandar & Ilyana. Iskandar became suuuuuper cheeky & knows how to tease people. He's growing up!  Sabar jap Iskandar, Cikna going to do a whole appreciation post for you later 😎 While Ilyana, by the time I'm writing this, she is 10 days old! And my very recent activity is, getting my driver licenses! O.M.G! Few steps to take, I can finally drive!  I actuall

I am someone.

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There's times when I look into the mirror and ask myself, who am I? Who am I in five years? Would I be living well? Of course, I would end up thinking positively, that everything is going to be just alright. These days, I am very worried about myself. But I enjoy doing nothing. I wish I have more money. I wish I took my car license earlier. Because I realize that I am kinda lagged behind. Why, I live differently from my other friends? Sometimes I wonder those kind of things too. I admit sometimes I lost to bullshits words. Why, my friends whose far above me ask how am I doing but look down at me after they heard my answer? Is it because they're above me? Is it because I did not live as a normal person? I tried not to care and always tell myself that I have my own path too. And I don't walk the same paths as them. Their path may be glamorous, easier, extravagant and all. My path is clearly different. At 21, is it normal to

Tips to future intenship students!

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Hello. I mentioned this quite many times before, on social media. But I don't know why I don't have the courage to spill the tea about it on my blog. I guess because it is more open here? My blog of course is not THAT famous but I am still afraid it might cause bigger problems. But hey, I had a rough time during my internship. Yes, a part that I didn't mention in my previous post. So I am doing this because internship should be a good experience. Something that you could brag about when you'll be seeking job. But lets just enjoy this post without thinking bad about anyone. I am doing it. I am doing this for the juniors. I am not doing this because of anger and hatred. 1. Find the right place. First of all, mestilah to cari the right place. It doesn't have to be the best company, just right. Make sure to at least do some research about the company. It is important to know the background of that company. Lagi best kalau dapat contact orang

FIRST EXPERIENCE AS A INDUSTRIAL TRAINEE.

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I. HAVE. FINISHED. MY. INDUSTRIAL. TRAINING. Can you guys believe THAT? 😧 It was such a bitter-sweet memories. No in between. I won't mention the company I was in because of their image, and I might give negative feedback about the company.  But out of 10, I would give like .. 4? I would start with the positive, happy sides first. I learnt a lot. To survive there in KL without parents is surely hard & difficult. Luckily, I survived. With my three friends of course 😜 There, we were provided a place to stay, Jalil Damai Apartment. I am super grateful about that. The place was nice, at least at one point 😶 It was comfortable, we had swimming pool which we can freely just jump whenever we went. My favorite spot in our house is no doubt, the balcony. I would sit there on every weekend, when we stayed at home. I would finish up my personal journal there, listen to some music while watching kids playing at the poolside or sometimes I eat R